*driving by Jeff's for no reason, yet I KNOW we aren't together and that's cool with me, but for some reason I can't help it.
*I wanna call TJ - I'm having a hard time NOT calling him, but I know it will probably be better this way. I want him to get a hold of me. Not the other way, and the fact that he hasn't/won't call pisses me off even more.
*I find myself being jealous of pregnant people even though I know this would not be the best time to have a child for MANY reasons, but I STILL cannot suppress that feeling. Ever since Jeff and I were trying, I can't let that go....and it hurts.

My stomach hurts, my head hurts, I'm totally beat, I don't give a shit about hardly anything anymore - - - - I know what I want and I can't have it...can't have it right now anyway, and I might never get to have it. *sighs* I just dunno anymore. I just dunno.

What I do know - is that I have therapy this week (I think?) at least relatively soon to be able to talk to someone else about this and see what sense she can make of it. That and I'm thinking about going to the doctor to get different depression meds. The stuff I have works great with my panic attacks - - not so well with my depression. *shrugs* That would require energy too.