Jeff also called me the other night to let me know, "No, I know you're going to ask because I saw you drive by today and that red car - - she's staying here while she's in between places - - I'm not seeing anyone...promise!" lol. He knows me way too well! LOL

(FYI: I was driving by to check and see if I had mail in the mailbox and to drop off the pictures of Gavin, but his dad was outside helping him put in windows - - so I didn't stop)

I had a rather rough day today. My mind has been racing lately and my chest gets heavy and I get to the point that I don't know what to do - - sit down, stand up, what room I wanna be in, etc.....aka panic attack, but this was weird because it was like all day - - usually its just for a while and I just couldn't get calmed down. Usually TJ can help me, but he won't anymore - things aren't the best with him right now, and I'm in the process of just letting it go. It's not easy - - but I'm working on it.

He wants me to "wait" for him until after he has surgery and, "Then we will date again." Um, no, sorry. You dumped me for no reason, say you still love me, but treat me like crap because we are only "friends" and you want me to what?! Sorry dude, it's either now or never....no reason to dump me other than "stress" - - f*ck off.