I talked to Jeff and I'm going to get my stuff tonight(since its 3:19 am Central time) We talked a little bit about little things and are going to sit down and have a talk tonight when I get my stuff. He's really sorry about how things happened, and so am I and we are going to talk.

I'm really hoping that we can work things out, I know that sounds stupid, but I truly love him, and although not right away, I would like to be with him. I think that we both need a break, but I'm going to be there for him no matter what. I want to see him, talk to him, etc. I want to be his friend, because he needs that now more than anything...Hopefully, eventually, I will make it back to "girlfriend" and then on to more :)

I think I had a panic attack tonight. TJ and I went to dinner, came home and watched a DVD and then he left, and after he left I flipped out. I walked him out to his car, and then on my way inside, I just felt this rush come over me. I ran inside, and down to my room....and like didn't know what to do when I got there. I could feel my heart racing and I starting pacing the length of my room. I then ran upstairs and signed online because I just HAD to talk to Jeff, but I had absolutely nothing to say...so I IM'ed him several times, but he wasn't around, so I signed off and ran back downstairs (literally ran)

Finally decided I couldn't take it any more and I called him. He was half asleep, but we talked for a while...he tried to calm me down, and it worked a little....but not enough. I hung up with him so he could go to bed, and called Pam and talked to her for a while. We concluded panic attack and since it was 45 minutes later and I still hadn't calmed down, she thought I should be seen in the ER, so I left early for work.

What happens about 2 miles from my house....my "low tire pressure" light goes on and my poor lil Alero has a flat. Great. Just what I needed. I knew I couldn't ask my step-dad to fix it, because of his arthritis, so I HAD to call Jeff back. He answered thank God, and I told him I had a flat tire, he started laughin and said he was on his way.

He got there, changed it and we talked for a while. He made sure I called work to let them know I was going to be late and we talked a little more. Then I told him I should be going, since I was late, and I started to walk around him when he stopped me and pulled me close and gave me the best, most comforting, "makes you sigh with relief" hug. There we stood, holding each other tight, for like 2 minutes.

*That calmed me down*

Left the gas station and continued to work, only to have him call me and warn me about the police hanging out on my route and told me to watch my speed and that he'll see me "tomorrow."

I was surprised that he didn't tell me to call my step-dad, or go in and ask the clerk if he could change it for me. I know how, I just couldn't get my tire off.....but no, he never questioned it and just came to help me out.

I dunno what to think of that. It could be several things:

1) He feels bad about the other night

2) He loves me

3) He just wanted to help...

4) He's just a great friend

5) He wasn't thinkin...lol

Although I'm nixing #3 because he was in bed and half asleep when I called...but he got up, got dressed and came over. In any case, it meant a lot.